Every woman has in her closet a pair of skinny jeans that represent the "skinny" self she either was at one time, or has always dreamed of being. Some of us might have two, three or a dozen, but ALL of us have at least one pair. Why, because we can't let go of the dream. Wearing the skinny pants means that we are beautiful, accepted, acknowledged and desired. Mind you, you don't need a pair of pants to make you feel all those things, but deep down, where no one will admit it outloud, we do. If we can just back into those skinny pants, everything in life will be better, so we believe.
Many of us have successfully made that journey back into those skinny jeans. You remember the day. You've spent months sweating on the treadmill, air kicking, counting calories, and eliminating carbs. Then the day came when you went back into the closet and pulled out the skinny jeans, and put them on. "Holy Sh*t!!!" You are in seventh heavan and can't wait to tell everyone you know. You can't wait for Friday night so you can go out with your girlfriends, put the skinny pants on, a sexy top, and strappy Manolos. Let's not forget the lip gloss. You want your lips to look smacking luscious in case you should meet Mr. Handsome Charming. It's all absolute heaven.
This euphoria lasts for a short while, and then reality rears it's ugly head. Things happen that were not part of your "magical" dream. All the stress and ugliness you never planned on pops up. Things like: Your girlfriends start to get jealous because they liked you better when they looked better than you. Jealousy from other women like your female co-workers, your boyfriend's girlfriends, your Dad's girlfriend, the sweet old Mrs. Anderson at the library, your cat, hell, anything with XY chromosones starts to hate you. The men in your life become more jealous of other men, get insecure, or leave you because they liked the old you.
On a side note, it is ironic that women can be tight in the throes of sisterhood except when it comes to our looks. We can be so vicious, petty, and undermining. We may not even be conscious of our attitude, but it will happen. Is it in our DNA or is it culturally burned into our brain to do whatever it takes to be a belle of the ball? I admit that I have fallen target to low vibrational pettiness. Not proud of it, but it has happened. So, we grow and learn.
Probably, the biggest disappoint though is that your life is not better because you are in the skinny jeans. You look prettier, yes, but life is not necessarily better. In some cases, it could be worse. Our culture and society puts high pressure on women to look pretty. Because of that pressure, we tie our value and self-esteem to what the scale says, our dress size, or what other people think. We will torture, maim, and manipulate ourselves for the sake of good looks.
Beauty does matter, and it is a lie to say that it doesn't. Beauty is all around us, not only in humanity but in nature and the arts. Beauty becomes distorted in humans when we apply unrealistic standards and judgments as to what is beautiful and what is not, when we create hierarchies of power based on physical appearance, and when we have and receive love only when we fit into a mold of singular attractiveness.
Back in skinny jeans started as a personal rant about my own struggles with beauty and losing weight, the unrelenting fashion industry, and Hollywood. I wanted to share my experiences to help others, and to help heal myself. My desire here is to help other women (and men) feel good about themselves and their lives no matter what our culture "says" we have to look like. To help give perspective when we have lost it. To look at how we can grow and live in a beauty obsessed world without it making us crazy, sick, or feel unworthy. The word "skinny" also means "news, lowdown, and information". Throughout the blog, I'll also use the word skinny, depending on context, as a reference to being "in the know."
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