Top 5 ways to get rid of your muffin top without dieting

Question: "Is there an easy way for us slackers to get rid of that muffin top without having to, you know, sweat or diet?"

Answer: Absolutely! This wouldn't be Quick-fix Nation if there wasn't some loophole around hard work. Here's the top 5 slothful ways to banish that muffin top effect without, you know, actual weight reduction.

• Spanx: Sara Blakely is a mega-genius. Spanx has a Hide-n-Sleek line and another line of Body Shapers which can hook onto your bra and slither down to your thighs or tootsies. Jump into a pair of these stretchy scuba suits, and Spanx will seriously smooth out all the fleshy lumps and bumps that make up a muffin top. If you wear these on a hot date, remember what happened to Bridget Jones.

• Packing tape: No! This is isn't some redneck idea. It's the tape girdle. In the old days of modeling, girls would literally wrap tape around their mid-sections in order to get a thinner, streamlined look. Wider tape is better since it can cover more area. This is not a recommended thing to do, but for a quick photo shoot, it's cheap and fast. Just wear something underneath so the tape is not directly on your skin as this will give you a real ouchie when you remove the tape.

• Photoshop it off: Hey! If the models can do it, why can't you? Now if you're photo retouching your pics for your online dating profile, than that is false advertising. So, no-no. But, if you want a picture for personal "entertainment purposes" or as a motivational picture for a real weight loss program then go right ahead and photoshop that muffin top away.

• Get "skinny mirrors": Using reality distortion glass is a good way to make that muffin top disappear. According to urban legend, skinny mirrors are used in places like retail dressing rooms and in the bathrooms at Conde Nast. Reality is so last season. So, swap out those regular mirrored doors on your closet, and the mirrors hanging in your lavatory for the skinny mirrors that make everything look hotter and slimmer.

• Buy bigger pants: Now this just seems like the logical thing to do, but alas, many an ego fights a widening truth. Muffin tops occur when you squeeze a fleshier body into jeans that are too small. Get over yourself, and buy the bigger jeans. It's just a number. If you don't want to pony up for bigger jeans, then I'm sorry to tell you, you're going to have to, you know, diet and exercise to get rid of that muffin top once and for all.
  

This post is part of the ProBlogger Group Writing Project, "Top 5."

Comments

[Alison]

Funny, I was in Old Navy trying on clothes the other day, and the mirror made me look fatter than my mirror at home does.

Needless to say, I didn't buy anything. The dresses that fit my midsection were very gappy in the chest. I'm either going to have to start exercising again or get bigger boobs.

[365 Days]

I once went to a gym that had distorted mirrors in one room that made you look plump and short!

Hardly anyone used the equipment in that room, so it was easy to get a treadmill.

I've never heard of the packing tape trick! Very novel...

[Never teh Bride]

Eep. I actually once tried to make a duct tape bra. Unfortunately, I didn't take advice likes yours into consideration...and had a hell of a time unsticking myself. No bra, and only welts to show for it :(

[punky]

ha...this is awesome

[OHSucker]

I love these tips! I especially like the "tape" one...what's a little lost skin when ripping the tape off? We're going for a look here....LOL

[Joseph Bernard]

I love your sense fo humor. I see you entered the Top 5 contest as did I. I like your site, it looks great and I to read more. Check out my blog www.explorelifeblog.com

Keep up the humor abd we can laugh our way to a better world,

Joseph

[Rebecca]

He hee. I call them Magic Knickers. ;)

[Annie]

I feel your pain girl! You know, I actually work with Lee Jeans and they just started making a line of jeans called "Custom Fit" that have a little hidden elastic inside the waistband so they don't cut in and give you a muffin top. Drop me a line if you want me to send you a pair (perk of the job). I have the same problem and they totally work if you have a little extra fluff in the middle!

aa

[JoLynn Braley]

Pretty funny Stephanie! Gotta say I was expecting something else, but this gave me a good laugh. :)

Have fun surfing the Problogger subs!

JoLynn

[Bella]

Very funny, thanks for great laugh this afternoon! Bella

[Manola Blablablanik]

Great tips as always. Thanks, Steph!

My mom swears by always wearing a belt around your waist. I say, that's so 19th century! Actually, I would be concerned about restricted breathing patterns by wearing anything too tight around my waist all the time. But for a special event I'm really digging that Spanx idea ... plus they has a non-profit!

[Ginene]

That was funny. I can't believe people actually used tape. That sounds like that hurts.

Good luck on the contest!

[Carolyn]

Hahahaha! Great post! I was totally thinking of a real muffin. I'm showing my age. Too funny.

[Sammie]

Ha ha! I love it!

I can totally relate to the fat/skinny mirrors issue. The Target store near my work has the worst mirrors, they always make you look short and wide. I don't use the fitting rooms there too much anymore.

Love your blog :)

[robert]

Thanks for the information

You may also find it useful to visit my website: http://www.healthopts.com

[Leanne]

eeep.
i have muffin top hips... and i HATE it.. and i dunno how to get rid of them...and now im only 16, so i shouldnt be worrying about it...and i dont wanna get rid of them to satisfy other people.. i want to get rid of them to satisfy myself.