Back in skinny jeans

Craig Ferguson rips on America's creepy uncle, Donald Trump

If Donald Trump is going to sue Rosie O'Donnell for her "defaming" remarks about the Donald, then I guess he'll have to add Craig Ferguson of The Late Late Show to his "People to sue" list. The owner of the pretty people pagents is getting publicity for all the wrong reasons.

Stick your tongue on an icy pole - A Christmas Story

I triple dog dare you...

Everybody loves misfits like Hermie and Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer

Clarice the girl reindeer tells Rudolph she likes him despite the fact that he doesn't have a normal nose like everyone else. And remember, Hermie, the elf who'd rather be a dentist. In the end, being different saves Christmas. Love your uniqueness!

Miss USA Tara Conner not dethroned. Going to rehab.

Yes, I am supposed to be on vacation, but I just could not hold back on this news. This New York Post headline  makes me chuckle. Donald Trump has decided to not fire Tara Conner in her role as Miss USA because he is such a kind hearted guy who believes in second chances. NY City is such a soul sucking place that a sweet girl from a small town in Kentucky with a shiny tiara on her head doesn't stand a chance against the New York debauchery of sex, drugs, and booze. So, instead of getting ousted, Donald, the Softie, agreed to let Tara keep her twinkly tiara if she agreed to go to rehab.

That's right folks. Our Miss USA, the symbol of beauty, grace, and style of our country is going to rehab with that sparkly tiara. Can't you just smell the hypocrisy? Hmmmm! It's a tasty whiff of irony mixed with disillusion. But see, pretty girls can get away with things that you and I would never be able to in our reality.

Am I some cold hearted judgmental biatch? You bet I am on this topic because beauty pageants are just asinine in the first place. The whole idea that women prance around a stage so that others can judge her on her perfection, her ability to fit society's ideal image of beauty, her virtue, is just ridiculous. The whole pageant thing is fake, and give me a break on "it's a way for girls to get scholarship money for college" crap.

Yes, people make mistakes and are human, but this girl is representing something that is so incredibly dependent on perfection and wholesomeness. I mean say it out loud, "Miss USA is going to rehab." Not a dethroned queen, but an active reigning beauty queen is going to rehab. Say it again, and your head starts to shake.

I watched the video clips of the press conference where Donald Trump and Tara Conner made their statements, and I'm telling you there is going to be a spoof on Saturday Night Live before we ring in the New Year. Watching Tara blubber and go on about how she is not going to let The Donald down again just made me feel.....Well, you watch, and you decide. First Donald:

and now Tara's turn:

Twas the Night Before a Non-denominational Winter Holiday

...featuring Larry the Cable Guy aka the voice of Tow Mater from the movie "Cars."

Enjoy these YouTube videos while I take a holiday break

Whew! I've been a blogging fool this year. So, I'm going to take a break the rest of the week, and enjoy some last minute shopping at the mall. Yes, some bloggers still shop the old fashioned way with a real shopping cart and a store filled with humans. So unless Oprah gets engaged or Vogue magazine announces their "Real People" issue, you won't hear from me the rest of the week.

However, I won't leave you completely empty handed. Here's a self portrait showcasing 6 years worth of orthodontia. As well, I'll post a favorite video of mine each day for your entertainment pleasure. Thank goodness for YouTube!

Janet Jackson smokin' on Bazaar's January cover

See! Now this is the way to do sexy on a magazine cover. I was getting worried about Miss Janet Jackson because she was posing in these really hideous, overly sexed outfits on some magazine covers like this King cover and this W cover. Whew! Much better Janet. You make 40 look hot!

Hey! Everyone is Time's Person of the Year of 2006

With all this change because of social media, Time decided that this year's Person of the Year is you, and you, and me, and you. Because we blog, take pictures, upload video, podcast, and socialize online, we're all People of the year!!!

For fun, Time put a reflective mylar on the page to simulate a mirror so we can see our smiling mugs ;-)

Congratulations everyone for your Time Person of The Year distinction!

[via Time.com]

The Donald evicts Miss USA from swanky Trump pad and more rumpus in the skinny-sphere

• Miss USA hasn't been officially dethroned yet, but over the weekend Donald Trump kicked out Tara Conner from her frou-frou Trump Place apartment. According to the doorman, ""She is not allowed any where on Trump property. She is certainly not allowed to come back. I don't think it was her choice, really." When the doorman is instructed to keep your ass of the premises, then me thinks the Donald will be ripping the tiara off Tara's highlighted locks. [NY Post]

• And speaking of The Donald, the first hired Apprentice Bill Rancic proposed to his girlfriend Giuliana Depandi of the E Channel. They'll marry in Italy next year. Castle perhaps? [Celebrity Week]

• On the subject of big egos, Beyonce is not Beyonce when she's on stage. Oh no! Her alter ego "Sasha" takes the stage and does all that agressive gyrating, sassy, sexiness we have all come to know. "Beyonce on Sasha, "I wouldn't like Sasha if I met her offstage...I created my stage persona to protect myself," she says, "so that when I go home, I don't have to think about what it is I do. Sasha isn't me. The people around me know who I really am." So, why does Beyonce feel that she can't be herself on stage. Is that perhaps she's already setting up her defense clause if and when she ever scandalizes. "Uh! It wasn't me. I didn't do it. Sasha did it." Sounds like reality TV. [AP]

• And finally, Oprah dives into reality TV with two shows of her own on ABC. Will she be the host or not? The jury is still out. One thing we do know is that as contestants get kicked off one by one, it will be done "nicely." There will be no shame, no "You're Fired!", no big L's on the forehead. Instead of schadenfreude, we'll all be crying as each contestant boo-hoos as they are dismissed because if Oprah is around, everyone cries in that "Touched by an Angel" kind of way. [Variety]

Diane von Furstenberg tells fashion honchos that skinny is going out of style

As Grand Poobah of the Council of Fashion Designers of America, Diane von Furstenberg sent out a letter to members across the kingdom saying that they need to finally put their Manolo's down and take a stance on the too-skinny model epidemic sweeping their land because it has now become a "global fashion issue."

Madame fashionista went on to say, "As designers, we cannot ignore the impact fashion has on body image. We share a responsibility to protect women, and very young girls in particular, within the industry, sending the message that health is beauty....I always think it's a good idea to promote health. I believe in strong women."

As I said before, the tipping point is now rolling full steam. The fashionista honchos around the world are stepping up and making changes in the healthier direction. The changes are not going to happen overnight because let's face it, we're dealing with a deeply ingrained belief system here. Skinny has been queen for decades. But, there is skinny and then there is skeletal skinny where people are dying just to be thin and pretty. Let's have hope that the fashionistas will walk their new healthy talk.

[via LA Times] [pic via Inc.]