Question: "Is there an easy way for us slackers to get rid of that muffin top without having to, you know, sweat or diet?"
Answer: Absolutely! This wouldn't be Quick-fix Nation if there wasn't some loophole around hard work. Here's the top 5 slothful ways to banish that muffin top effect without, you know, actual weight reduction.
- Spanx: Sara Blakely is a mega-genius. Spanx has a Hide-n-Sleek line and another line of Body Shapers which can hook onto your bra and slither down to your thighs or tootsies. Jump into a pair of these stretchy scuba suits, and Spanx will seriously smooth out all the fleshy lumps and bumps that make up a muffin top. If you wear these on a hot date, remember what happened to Bridget Jones.
- Packing tape: No! This is isn't some redneck idea. It's the tape girdle. In the old days of modeling, girls would literally wrap tape around their mid-sections in order to get a thinner, streamlined look. Wider tape is better since it can cover more area. This is not a recommended thing to do, but for a quick photo shoot, it's cheap and fast. Just wear something underneath so the tape is not directly on your skin as this will give you a real ouchie when you remove the tape.
- Photoshop it off: Hey! If the models can do it, why can't you? Now if you're photo retouching your pics for your online dating profile, than that is false advertising. So, no-no. But, if you want a picture for personal "entertainment purposes" or as a motivational picture for a real weight loss program then go right ahead and photoshop that muffin top away.
- Get "skinny mirrors": Using reality distortion glass is a good way to make that muffin top disappear. According to urban legend, skinny mirrors are used in places like retail dressing rooms and in the bathrooms at Conde Nast. Reality is so last season. So, swap out those regular mirrored doors on your closet, and the mirrors hanging in your lavatory for the skinny mirrors that make everything look hotter and slimmer.
- Buy bigger pants: Now this just seems like the logical thing to
do, but alas, many an ego fights a widening truth. Muffin tops occur when you
squeeze a fleshier body into jeans that are too small. Get over yourself,
and buy the bigger jeans. It's just a number. If you don't want to pony up for bigger jeans, then I'm sorry to tell you, you're going to have to, you know, diet and exercise to get rid of that muffin top once and for all.
This post is part of the ProBlogger Group Writing Project, "Top 5."
